a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.
what the fuck
if you sold all your eggs you would make $3.2 billion
your uterus is worth $3.2 billion
I JUST REALIZED THAT THIS MEANS EVERY TIME YOU HAVE A PERIOD YOU LOSE $8,000???????????? TERRIBLE
Maybe that’s why we get so emotional
did you just make an egg pun
nothing fucked me up more than hearing the line “now they’re going to bed and my stomach is sick, and it’s all in my head but she’s touching his chest” in mr brightside and REALIZING THAT SICK AND CHEST DON’T RHYME… ….SH E’S NOT TOUCHIGN HIS CHEST…..
You’re rythym’s off.
She’s touching his chest now
He takes off her dress now
Let me gooooo
Sick and chest are not in the same bar and chest was not meant to be a replacement for man bits