mandopony:

andreweliam:

sweeeetastea:

This is what it means to age gracefully…

God save the queen

I’m sick of the media telling us women can only be beautiful during a very tiny portion of their lives. Look at this amazing person, and tell me she hasn’t always been and remains to this day drop dead gorgeous.

Ladies, you’re always and forever beautiful. Remember that.

I’m not saying that beauty is the most important thing, I’m only saying your age will never steal it from you. So just keep rockin’ it.

(via international-leaf-convention)

monobeartheater:

verylittlebird:

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

what the fuck

(via nakedslenderman)

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

(via nakedslenderman)

rebornica:

sweetmetaphors:

This is…*puts on sunglasses*
BALLIN’

10 EXTRA HOURS IN THE OMEGA BALLPIT

rebornica:

sweetmetaphors:

This is…*puts on sunglasses*

BALLIN’

10 EXTRA HOURS IN THE OMEGA BALLPIT

(via nakedslenderman)

isis-:

seekingtheunordinary:

deathbeforediet:

canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit:

stand-up-comic-gifs:

Joan Rivers on the Ed Sullivan Show, 1967 (x)

HOW IN THE WORLD DID SHE TALK LIKE THIS BACK THEN AND END UP HOSTING A SHOW TEARING APART WHAT PEOPLE LOOK FOR A FRIGGING LIVING????

SHOCKED when I got to the bottom and saw “Joan Rivers”

You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

that is the best use for that quote i have ever seen…

(via international-leaf-convention)

frenchoverture:

Those two comments made my day.

(via phillypu)

suicideducks:

Why is Jack Skellington like this hero of emo culture he is basically the peppiest Motherfucker to ever exist.

(via cowboybabeop)

nowacking:

whimsicdoctor13:

algrenion:

chel-the-fabulous-asstec:

lalondes:

kevinprices:

lalondes:

if you sold all your eggs you would make $3.2 billion

your uterus is worth $3.2 billion

#and a nutsack is worth like $25 and half a pb&j

I JUST REALIZED THAT THIS MEANS EVERY TIME YOU HAVE A PERIOD YOU LOSE $8,000???????????? TERRIBLE

Maybe that’s why we get so emotional

#this is it #we cracked it #the secret of periods

did you just make an egg pun

eggsellent 

(via phillypu)

dylanohcryin:

nothing fucked me up more than hearing the line “now they’re going to bed and my stomach is sick, and it’s all in my head but she’s touching his chest” in mr brightside and REALIZING THAT SICK AND CHEST DON’T RHYME… ….SH E’S NOT TOUCHIGN HIS CHEST…..

You’re rythym’s off.

She’s touching his chest now

He takes off her dress now

Let me gooooo

Sick and chest are not in the same bar and chest was not meant to be a replacement for man bits

(via projectsnt)